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  • 📈 Guypo’s $125M Bet to Rewrite Software

📈 Guypo’s $125M Bet to Rewrite Software

Portal’s $75M Fund Fuels Crypto Titans

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This is Cliff Equity, the UK’s business newsletter that keeps you informed on what’s important in tech, business and finance in less than 5 minutes

In today’s stories:

  • Guypo’s $125M Bet to Rewrite Software

  • Portal’s $75M Fund Fuels Crypto Titans

  • United Utilities: £335m Profit, Bills Surge!

The summary: Tessl, armed with $125M and a genius spec-centric approach, is set to revolutionise software development by letting AI handle the code while developers tackle the real challenges—with style and efficiency.

The details:

  • Goodbye coding, hello specs: Tessl swaps out fiddly lines of code for straightforward specifications, letting AI do the heavy lifting so developers can focus on the big picture—like user needs and system design.

  • Funding frenzy: Backed by $125M in fresh capital and a valuation topping $500M, Tessl is poised to lead the charge in AI native software development, with a full launch expected in 2025.

  • Revolution, not revision: Founder Guy Podjarny (aka "Guypo") ditches traditional workflows for a spec-centric model, promising faster, safer, and more adaptable software creation—because why tweak when you can transform?

  • The future’s on a waitlist: Tessl’s early access list is live, inviting developers to join the movement and rewrite the software creation rulebook, one spec at a time.

Why it matters: Tessl is giving developers the ultimate cheat code: ditch the tedium of manual coding and let AI handle the grunt work, so they can focus on the clever stuff—like solving actual problems. With a hefty $125M war chest and a valuation that screams "serious business," it's clear the tech world sees this as the future of software creation. If Tessl delivers, it could turn software development from a grind into a breeze, leaving more time for tea, biscuits, and brilliance.

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The summary: Portal Ventures is rewriting the crypto investment playbook with sharp foresight, hands-on support, and a knack for turning early-stage startups into industry trailblazers.

The details:

  • Early-Bird Strategy: Portal Ventures excels at sniffing out crypto gems before they shine, tossing "first checks" at projects often too early for even a whitepaper, ensuring they shape tomorrow’s crypto darlings today.

  • Portfolio Panache: Their single-project-per-category mantra has backed rising stars like Blueprint and Plume, with follow-on funding from big names like Polychain and Haun Ventures. Talk about putting all your eggs in one golden basket!

  • Brains and Bitcoin: Armed with theses like the “Bitcoin Renaissance” and research wizardry on MEV and DePIN, Portal spots trends months ahead—blending old-school finance nous with Web3 flair to stay ahead of the curve.

  • Cool Under Pressure: While others threw cash at 2022’s overhyped valuations, Portal’s patience paid off in 2023’s bear market, cementing them as the wise owl of crypto VC—slow, steady, and profitable.

Why it matters: Portal Ventures is a masterclass in spotting crypto trends before they’re trendy, proving that timing and insight trump hype every time. By backing one standout startup per niche, they’re not just placing bets—they’re cultivating industry leaders. In a world of frothy valuations and speculative bubbles, their disciplined, research-driven approach is a refreshing reminder that patience (and a bit of foresight) pays dividends.

The summary: United Utilities is raking in profits, eyeing eye-watering bill hikes, and rewarding execs handsomely, all while juggling sewage spills and proudly holding a four-star environmental rating – a true British balancing act!

The details:

  • United Utilities made a tidy £335.7m profit in H1 2024, up 23%, but don’t get too excited – they want to hike bills by 32%, making them some of the priciest in the country.

  • The proposed average bill will jump from £443 to £584 by 2030, after two recent hikes of 6.4% and 7.9%. Looks like the water’s getting more expensive, and not just for the fish.

  • Revenue surged to £1.08bn thanks to higher bills, though after-tax profit slipped to £103.1m – proof that even big companies feel the pinch when they’re spending on other things (like executive bonuses).

  • Despite dumping sewage into rivers (again), the company managed to score a four-star performance rating from the Environment Agency, though they’re still under investigation by Ofwat. Cheers to that!

Why it matters: United Utilities is making record profits while eyeing hefty bill increases, meaning we’ll soon be paying top-tier prices for what’s essentially a public utility – a bit like paying for a pint of water at the pub. Executive bonuses are still healthy, even as after-tax profits drop, proving the old adage that someone is doing well in all this, just not your wallet. And while they’re dishing out sewage like it’s going out of fashion, at least they’ve earned a four-star rating for it – talk about a silver lining in a muddy pond.

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