📈 Just Eat Gets Gobbled for £3.4bn

Bybit’s $1.5bn Heist: Crypto’s Latest Nightmare

February 24, 2025

This is Cliff Equity, the UK’s business newsletter that keeps you informed on what’s important in tech, business and finance in less than 5 minutes

In today’s stories:

  • Just Eat Gets Gobbled for £3.4bn

  • Bybit’s $1.5bn Heist: Crypto’s Latest Nightmare

  • Challenger Bank’s £200m Fundraise Fuels Nasdaq Dreams

The summary: Just Eat’s £3.4bn takeover by Prosus is a classic tale of boom, bust, and a hopeful rebirth—once a FTSE 100 high-flyer, now under new ownership, with AI, deep pockets, and a second chance on the menu.

The details:

  • Just Eat Takeaway.com has been devoured by Prosus for a hearty €4.1bn (£3.4bn), just two months after ditching the London Stock Exchange. The South African-owned investor finally gets its meal ticket after a six-year chase.

  • Once a pandemic darling, Just Eat saw its valuation balloon before tumbling, thanks to some questionable investments – including the $7.3bn GrubHub flop, later sold for a mere $650m.

  • Once a £15bn FTSE 100 giant, Just Eat’s fall from grace included a quiet London exit in December, a blow to the UK's financial clout.

  • Prosus, with its Delivery Hero stake, promises to sprinkle some artificial intelligence magic on Just Eat, hoping to turn it into a "European tech champion" – or at least keep it off the leftovers pile.

Why it matters: Just Eat’s takeover is yet another sign that once-mighty UK-listed tech firms are being gobbled up or drifting away, leaving the London Stock Exchange looking increasingly like a ghost town. The food delivery boom’s spectacular crash shows that not every lockdown darling was built to last—especially when ill-fated acquisitions like GrubHub are on the menu. As for Prosus, it's betting big that a dash of AI and deep pockets can turn Just Eat from a battered takeaway into a Michelin-starred business.

The summary: Bybit's $1.5bn heist has left Ethereum reeling, but with promises of covering the loss and a few more cybercriminals to catch, the crypto circus rolls on!

The details:

  • Bybit’s Billion-Dollar Blunder – Hackers swiped a jaw-dropping $1.5bn (£1.1bn) from Bybit’s Ethereum wallet, making it possibly the biggest crypto heist in history. The company insists users’ funds are “safe” (though that’s debatable).

  • Picking Up the Tab – Founder Ben Zhou says the loss can be covered by Bybit or via a loan from partners. With $20bn (£15bn) in assets, they’re confident they’ll weather the storm—assuming no more ‘surprises’.

  • Ethereum Takes a Hit – The theft sent Ethereum tumbling by 4%, reminding everyone just how volatile crypto remains. Meanwhile, Bybit scrambles to trace the hackers and reassure its 60 million users.

  • Crypto’s Security Nightmare – This latest heist surpasses the infamous $620m Ronin Network theft in 2022, proving once again that crypto exchanges remain lucrative playgrounds for cybercriminals.

Why it matters: Bybit’s mega-heist is yet another reminder that the crypto world, despite its flashy promises, still has the security of a wet paper bag. If a $1.5bn theft barely dents an exchange’s balance sheet, it raises questions about just how much funny money is floating around. And with Ethereum wobbling in the aftermath, investors are once again left wondering whether digital gold is just digital fool’s gold.

The summary: Monument Bank is shaking up the UK’s financial scene with a £200m fundraising push, a £1bn valuation, and plans to list on Nasdaq, all while eyeing global expansion—because why settle for London when you can go global?

The details:

  • Monument Bank, a challenger bank for Britain's affluent crowd, is eyeing a £200m funding boost and a Nasdaq listing by 2027, possibly with a side dish of a Middle Eastern or Indian listing.

  • Despite being born in the UK, it’s set to raise eyebrows by potentially snubbing the London Stock Exchange in favour of the States, echoing Monzo’s similar conundrum.

  • The bank’s assets now sit at £5bn, and with 60,000 accounts open, it aims to serve 4.8 million professionals and property investors—no big deal.

  • Already at £135m raised, it’s set to top up £30m in Series C funds this year, pushing its value to £1bn, all while expanding into Dubai and India.

Why it matters: Monument Bank's ambition to raise £200m and list on Nasdaq signals a growing preference for US markets over London—yet another nudge to the City’s ego. As it targets affluent professionals and expands globally, it’s a reminder that the UK’s financial scene is increasingly looking overseas for growth. With a £1bn valuation on the horizon, Monument’s not just shaking up banking, it’s leaving a trail of champagne bubbles in the process.

How would you rate today's edition:

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.